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No one is coming to save you
How Seth Godin's words intersected with my life at the perfect time
I once shared something new and deeply personal with Seth Godin while on stage with him.
I had known him for years at this point and we'd talked many times, but this one was different. As we were nearing the end of the interview, I took the opportunity to thank him for changing my life with words he had spoken to me almost a decade ago.
What he said helped me realize that I had been playing the victim instead of choosing to take action. But it was the timing that made it really hit home.
No one was coming to rescue me.
I shared the story about being a child of adoption. I had a great childhood, but I always had this desire to find my birth parents and I wanted to know more. I had this burning desire to find my roots.
As a teenager, I would petition the courts for my birth records and I got denied repeatedly. That only fueled my fire. I felt it was unfair. I felt kind of violated, like 'How dare you?'
Flash-forward a number of years when the internet became more pervasive and public documents became more available. I finally found my birth mother, which felt amazing. I sent her a letter and included a picture of our family, of course looking our best. I wrote a note that said something like, "I know this may come as a shock, but I found you, and I just wanted to say thank you. I want to say thank you for doing probably the most selfless thing anyone could ever do."
I also stated, "If you want to connect, I would be more than happy to have a phone call or come meet you. I'm thrilled that I found you after this 30-year search."
Fast forward, and I did get a letter back. It was from a very proper organization or firm. I opened it.
"Dear Mr. Elliott. We're in receipt of your letter and our client does admit that she is your biological mother — but wants no contact with you. We are putting you on notice that if you have any further correspondence, we will not hesitate to file a restraining order against you."
It was a sucker punch. I was devastated. I was crushed. I was pissed, too. It was very difficult, and I felt sorry for myself.
This was the immediate setting in which Seth's words intersected my story.
At this same time, I had just quit a perfectly good job and left Universal Pictures to start a production company. It was in 2008 when Seth's book Tribes had been released and I sought him for the first time. We were in the heart of the recession and I was struggling to keep my family afloat.
I reached out to Seth, but was rejected several times. Still, I persisted. I was tenacious. I didn't give up and I kept chipping away. Finally, about a year and a half later, Seth agreed to come to one of my meetings for the first time.
Where I had experienced so much rejection, I finally had made a connection.
He was extremely human, took the time, and gave me that life-changing advice:
"No one is coming to rescue you. It's up to you."
This now also applies to you…
You are responsible for your family.
You are in charge of your business.
What are you losing by playing the victim in life?
Stop expecting rescue boats to arrive.
You can be a survivor and take responsible action.
Let’s celebrate how far you've made it but continue to learn and grow.
No one is coming to rescue you… and that's okay.

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